Hermit

Tonight I'm going out with a friend that I haven't seen or talked to in more than 2 years. When her husband and I ran into each other outside of a restaurant a few weeks ago, We talked about the fact that they (W & W) never see us (Kel & L) anymore. We've recently been texting back and forth again, and are finally getting together for drinks tonight.

I wish I could have given a reason for the lack of contact I've had with them, but I'd be too afraid that I'd come off sounding rude, or jealous, or what have you. See, W & W had just gotten pregnant last time we actually hung out. This makes me really jealous because L and I have been trying to get pregnant for our entire marriage (5 years in May), and I miscarried in March...so every time I see a pregnant woman I want to burst into tears at the unfairness of the whole thing. The real difficulty for me right now? My brother and sister-in-law are pregnant with their second child. I HAVE to see them, they're family. It's really hard.

Well, that was a bit of a rambly paragraph.

Anyways, so, what I'm trying to say is I've basically avoided calling W for two years because it really wouldn't be fair to her if I burst into tears if she even so much as mentioned her son, would it?

Goodness, call me morose. I'm going out. I'm getting out of the house, I'm going to laugh, and smile, and have a good time, because, WOW. GET OVER YOURSELF KEL. For the love of pete.

You know where this whole new outlook on getting out and being with friends again comes from? The fact that I've seen what being a house-bound hermit has done to both me and my husband, and I don't want that to continue. I'm tired of being exhausted after a day at work. I'm tired of coming home and making a boxed dinner and sitting down in front of the TV for the rest of the night. I'm tired of the fact that I keep making excuses for this lifestyle to continue. It's got to change.

I recently joined a gym with a friend, and am even considering working with a personal trainer (wow, did you KNOW they were that expensive?). We're planning on going at least 2 times a week, with a promise to try to go more than that once work slows down. I've started to make boxed lunches vs. visiting the sushi place next to work (Which, NUM! BUT NOT CHEAP!). I've gotten my bike out of the garage and am going to bike to work vs. taking the bus. It may not be much of a start, but it's a start!

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to take the dog for a walk before getting ready to go out. Later!