Stockholming Myself, day 20

Had a bit of an issue with the camera batteries running out yesterday. No post due to that. Sorry.

Today's outfit is Reitmans jeans, Old Navy exercise top (its that breathable fabric stuff). It's comfy, I wasn't going for pretty today. I also forgot to shuck the shoes for the view of teh socks. But I only took 1 picture, so.

Gotta tell ya, I'm kinda worn out today. Not really feeling it. Hoping to get back into the swing of things tomorrow.

Stockholming Myself, day 19

It's day 19!

Why's that exciting? Not really sure. Gotta have something to get excited about today tho, it's been a pretty boring day so far. I mean, twitter's had some pretty good conversations, and I'm fairly certain I'm addicted to Words With Friends on my phone, but... pretty boring thus far.

So here's day 19. I've got a 6pm to 1am inventory shift at work. I've located my mp3 player (yes, it's separate from my iphone... and?), and am ready and raring to go. Hence the outfit. No work shirt/pants today since I'm not going to be customer-interactive today.

This is another of my Sesame Street shirts. I have a third one, but it's gone awol. My grungy jeans are, again, from Reitmans. The sandals are Crocs (WHAT! they're comfy, AND CUTE because they've got a CLOTH upper. Screw Y'all Crocs haters, that's what I say! [*meep* don't hate me!])

Also realized after taking this pic that, uh, I didn't do my hair yet today. Sorry.

So I've seen a bit of a drop-off with the Stockholming group. Wondering where people are! Stop having such busy lives! Or something. I dunno. I miss you! Come BAAAAAACK!

Stockholming Myself, day 18

I bought two dresses yesterday! This one (also comes in reds/yellows and pinks/purples) and another which I'll show off if the weather ever gets back to nice. It's snowing today, so I'm not impressed. Stupid Canadian weather. Both are from Wal-Mart. The dress is strapless, hence the top, and a nice light gauzy material, so it's very flowy. I like the look of it with my jeans, but am only wearing the jeans because I apparently lost my black calf-length leggings. Does anyone know where I can get more?

I really like this dress on, but the pictures don't do it any justice. Or me, no justice for me, either. Also, no socks in today's pic because I have a feeling it would just look too gaudy.

It's the last day of casual weekend at work, though, so I'm making the most of it! See ya later!

Stockholming Myself, day 17

Decided to be adventurous and wear capris today. Technically they're just my jeans rolled up to look like capris, since I don't have any. This is my "I'm not sure I really like how this looks" face.

Black hoodie - Wal Mart. Jeans - Reitmans. Tank - AdditionElle+. Cute shoes - Crocs.

It's a late post, but I was out and about all day, working and shopping and the like, so, sorry. Here ya go anyways.

Stockholming Myself, day 16

Shirt: Penningtons. Jeans: Reitmans. Socks: mismatched. That's all I have to say about today's outfit.

When TJ mentioned yesterday that she'd downloaded the Lose It! iPhone app, I decided to try it too (lemming, thy name is Kristy... not that I'm calling TJ a lemming, but I'd better stop while my hole is only a few feet deep, or before I have to add salt to my foot). Like TJ, I checked to see where the BMI says that I should be at a normal body weight. Apparently, for me to get to the extreme high end of this "normal weight" I'd need to lose 92lbs. I know i'm overweight. I KNOW I am, I guss I just never realized HOW overweight. That 92lbs is a huge number. It's more than 1/3 of my current weight.

I'm honestly so flabberghasted at that 92lbs that I literally lost my train of thought as to where I was going with this whole thing.

92lbs.

92.

*meep*

Stockholming Myself, day 15

Remember how I said that I had two of these tops? Well, here's the second one. It's "Wear blue for Avatar release" day at work, so I don't have to wear my horrid shapeless work top.

I was going to dye my hair blue too, but for two reasons, I didn't. 1) my husband would likely kill me, and b) the local drugstore didn't have any blue dye. Please understand that option 1) really wouldn't deter me, if I'd located blue dye, I would have done it.

The jeans are actually fairly old, I'm really impressed with how well they're holding together. By fairly old I mean that they're a purchase from summer 08. Usually I wear out the inner thigh on my jeans within 6 months.

Hey look. No socks! And the sunglasses in my hand I'd actually taken a picture with to see what I'd look like, but I decided that wearing sunglasses indoors was a silly idea.

Now I just need to find some accessories, and my watch (I think it fell behind the bed when I was showering this morning) and I'm ready to face the day!

Stockholming Myself, day 14

Day 14. I made it to two weeks. Yay me!

Today I sent out a call on twitter to see which of two shirts I should wear for today's picture.

Tinkerbell (with sparkles that you can't see) won.

Yes, the shirt is sewn on a diagonal, so I have to wear a tank underneath it. Maybe that's why I'm looking at myself with an amused/confused look, like, does this look alright? Should I change and try again?

Jeans are a few days old now, time to wash them.

I don't know what I did different with this picture so that you see the left side of my living room instead of the pink wall that's usually off to the right, but, I did it, so, yay? Those slippers went back on my feet as soon as the picture was taken, it may be 15 degrees outside but I'm still freezing. Also, that old tv behind me? Does anyone want it? It still works, we just got a bigger one.

Stockholming Myself, day 13

First of all, a really big From-The-Heart thanks everyone for making me feel better about yesterday's picture. I went back and looked at it last night and, while I still wasn't completely happy with myself, it didn't seem quite as bad as it had yesterday morning.

Confession: I took 13 pictures today to find the one that I feel adequately displayed how I felt regarding this outfit. Also: what you can't see off to the left in this picure is my cat and my dog sharing the couch, grooming each other (Don't ask, they're weird!) So I was watching them because sometimes the cat gets a little vicious and starts biting the dog's face, but I was also trying to take my picture at the same time. This is the result...

Hoodie T-Shirt: Wal-Mart. White tank top: basically anywhere. Jeans (not dark wash!) Pennington's. Also regarding the jeans? THEY'RE A SIZE 20!! A whole size smaller than my usual! YAY!

Other "day off" staples in the background: laptop, slippers, cell phone, cadbury mini eggs. Plans for the day include *maybe* doing some dishes and laundry, and baking a cheesecake. Today's gonna be a good day!

Stockholming Myself, day 12

It's my day off today!

So why did I get all dressed up? Heck, why am I even awake at this hour?

I made a promise to myself that today would be a "take one picture and walk away" day. I've made myself this promise in the past and I've still always re-taken the picture, changed and re-taken the picture, or tried to find a prop that would make the picture look any better.

Today? I took one picture. I looked at it and don't really like it, but I'm just NOT taking another. SO THERE, ME! I even wore some make-up.

I like the top normally, but today it just looks tenty and like it gives me no shape at all. Not something I usually go for. Maybe it washes me out. The seams on the shirt and the fly on my jeans doesn't line up, and that makes me think that it must look like I walk with a permanent kink in my hips. Maybe I'm just trying to find fault where there is none, who knows.

Maybe I should quit while I'm still ahead.

"It's not a diet thing, it's not a weight loss group, and it's not NOT those things, either. It's looking at yourself every single day until you like what you see - either through change or through acceptance" ~~ TEMERITY JANE

Stockholming Myself, day 11

It's nice and warm here today, so I decided to show my appreciation for the weather by dressing summery. Yeah this is about as summery as it gets for me. I'm always cold, even in the middle of summer, so socks and long pants are still a part of my wardrobe in July or August.

Here we have your basic white tank top, dark jeans, and a gauzy blouse that I like to tie up. Orange is my favourite colour so I really like this top. It's also got Hawaiian looking flowers on it, too, so thats summery, right?

The bracelet on my right wrist is a chainmaille circlet that my husband made for me. It took him like, 35 hours to make. It's a design called a persian weave and it's really heavy because the links are all stainless steel. Just the fact that he spent so much time making something for me makes it that much more special to me.

Stockholming Myself, day 10

You'll have to forgive the no-face in this pic, but I really wanted to let you see the detail on the tube top underneath the blouse. I really like that tube top, it's got the design on one side and it's reversable so it's just green on the other.

Today we're back to my staple of dark-wash denim, too. The flowery sock has Minnie Mouse on the ankle, and the other one has ducks with the 'see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil' poses, with quotes that say "I don't wanna talk to you!"

TJ's question yesterday was about how we see ourselves in the same outfit from one day to the next depending on what mood we're in. Today's tops are a perfect example of that dichotomy. I tried the green shirt on a few days ago intending to use it in my Stockholming post only to practically rip it off in disgust. First it was too long, then it was too tight, I couldn't find anything to wear over it, etc. It's frustrating, because given an average day I really do like the top.

Another topic that's been discussed in recent days is the topic of make-up. I love make-up and probably own way too much of it, but I find that I'm only using it once or twice a week. I mean, every girl has her staples, and lip gloss is never too far out of reach for me.

Hey, there's a good question. What is one item for you that you can never be without? It doesn't even have to pertain to make-up. As I said, I always have lip gloss lying around, but another thing that's permanently with me no matter where I go is a set of nail clippers, a pen, and a pack of gum. You?

Stockholming Myself, day 9

You know what's awesome about today's shirt? It's got so many cute details! The top and the tank underneath are both from AdditionElle+

The buttons on this blouse are actually snaps with a pearlescent detail. You know why this is awesome? Because I can't count on two hands the number of buttons I've had pop off of shirts over the past few years. The snaps on this shirt just snap open if I breathe in too deep (it's not that tight, but just or example!)

The back has a cute lace up detail that I can let out if I've had a particularily big meal or want to wear the shirt with all the snaps done up. It's also got little snaps on the sleeves that I usually like to leave open, too, since I really don't like tight sleeves.

I usually wear this shirt with a yellow tank underneath because what you can't tell in the picture is that the top has gold threads sewn through it. It looks really cute with a yellow or an olive green tank top.

The jeans are from Reitmans. I can wear their biggest size, so it makes me feel good that I can still shop in a "normal sized person"s store. One sock is green stripes with frogs and the other is pink and purple argyle.

TJ asked yesterday about how we take compliments when they are given. My response is always the same whether I know the person or not. I always just say "Oh thanks". If it's a person I know and they're giving me a compliment, I'll generally be happy with my "oh thanks!". If it's a person I don't know, I'll accompany my "oh thanks" with a dismissive wave of my hand.

With a negative reaction to my clothing, or appearance, I can't help but take it to heart, no matter whether I know the person or not. I've never had a strong sense of self confidence or a good self image, and when someone is negative towards me, it hits me really hard. I try not to let it, I'll just put up a mask of happiness and then come home and cry into my pillow. I know that this is childish. I really do, I just can't help it. That's why I'm in love with this project. I'm hoping it will eventually let me see a side of myself that I find positive, and you have no idea how much THAT scares me.

Stockholming Myself, day 8

Couldn't get this post up last night because of family obligations, so I'll post the pictures from day 8 this morning, and the pictures from day 9 later.

In my mini-blurb from Daily Booth yesterday I mentioned that I was planning on staying in my pajamas all day. I had even taken my picture for the Stockholming myself in my pajamas. I only got about 4 hours of sleep the night before last, and didn't have anywhere to go yesterday (when I woke up, anyways), so I was just going to find some TV and make a brownie and just enjoy my solitude.

Then my Mom called. She'd just gotten home from vacation in Mexico and wanted to come over and show me all her pictures and have coffee. My mom and I are best friends, I love her to bits. Cue the frantic getting dressed and cleaning the house (she lives about 5 minutes away). I missed her a bunch though, do you have any idea how much it costs for a girl from Canada to text a person in Mexico, or vice versa? No? Well, with my provider it's 0.75c per text. Not a lot, but when you consider the amount of texts the average texter sends in a single day, and multiply that by 10 days of international texting... it builds up.

SOOO! Yesterday's outfit(s) are pajamas and my going out clothes, lets see if you can guess which is which!

The PJs - Minnesota Vikings PJ pants and matching bunnyhug, they're comfy, I love them. I also love the Vikings. GOOO VIKINGS! PTOOIE CFL!!! The slippers are from Wal-Mart, they're frogs. I also love frogs!

The nicer outfit - grey jeans from AdditionElle+. White button up top, also AdditionElle+. I love that top because of its square neckline. I also really like the gather under the bustline, it thins out the narrowest part of my torso. It's fairly see-through though, so I usually wear a white tank top underneath. Surprisingly, the white is clean still! Today's socks are black with polka-dots and blue/orange striped with yellow ducklings. I don't know if you can see it behind the camera, but I'm also wearing a necklace that my Mom brought me back from Mexico. I've posted a picture of it, too. It's adorable!

Also in the picture is Happy. He was named that when we adopted him, we tried to change it but that's all he'd answer to. He's a Keeshond. He's also at his hairiest right now. He's got an appointment with the groomer at 7am on Saturday, I'll post an after picture of him, too!

Stockholming Myself, day 7

Day 7! I made it a whole week! I'm proud of me! Way to go Kel!

There's a certain satisfaction in setting your mind to something and actually following through on that something for any given length of time, even if it's only a week. I know that looking back to the beginning of the week, if you'd asked me whether or not I'd be successful in posting a picture every day, I'd have said no. Course, we did run into that issue where I had to post two pictures on the same day. But hey, they were actually from two separate dates, it's just, my computer sorta blew up, that's all.

Today I liked what I was wearing so much that I dared bare my face for the world. This is a really big thing for me because the only people who have ever told me I'm anything other than ugly are my mother and my husband, and I have to figure that they don't really count. So yeah, self confidence with regards to my face. Dirt low.

Everyone's posting sweater pics lately. There's a random cold sweep running through Saskatchewan lately, so here's my sweater pic. It's from Old Navy, I got it off the sale rack last November for something like 7.00$ and I have it in pink, too. The tank is just a white tank from Wal-Mart. The pants you've seen before. One sock is lions and the other is pigs.

Stockholming Myself - It's not a diet thing, it's not a weight loss group, and it's not NOT those things, either. It's looking at yourself every single day until you like what you see - either through change or through acceptance. All credit for the Stockholming Project goes to TJ

Stockholming Myself, day 6

So. Day 6.

Let me tell you how today started. Today started by the alarm company for my work calling me at 9:40 and informing me that there was no one at the store yet. This is my bad. I was supposed to be there at 9:00am. The reason I was not there at 9:00am? The first thunderstorm of the year had knocked the power out, so my alarm wasn't set anymore.

I had no time to take the pic before work, then, because I jumped out of bed, ran my fingers through my hair, called a cab (I usually walk or take the bus), and was out the door and at work by 10:00am. Go me. Superwoman.

All would have been good and I would have had the store up and running by 10:20, but no, the person who was supposed to close the store last night, didn't. It's not hard, you cash out the tills and then hit EOD/CLOSE STORE on the master computer. Well... Yeah, didn't get done. So I had to close the store before I could open the store. Needless to say I couldn't actually help my first customer till almost noon.

The power went off twice in the store afterwards, requiring me to restart all the computers and re-open the store. Following me on twitter today was probably an adventure in watching smoke

come out my ears, I'm sure.

I was supposed to only work until 6:30, but at like, 6:23 a customer came in and wanted to purchase a cell phone, and since I'm the only trained cell phone rep in the store at the moment, I HAD to sell it to him. Which is fine, because, come on, COMMISSION. amirite? So I didn't get out of the store till 7:15. L wasn't happy with having waited for me since 6:30, lemme tell you!

AAAANYWAYS... Day 6. Sorry the picture is so dark, but, as I said, I didn't get home until about 15 minutes ago, and the FIRST thing I had to do (of course!) was open my package from TJ BECAUSE IT FINALLY GOT HERE! So it's 7:45 and I'm trying to take a picture sans flash in a room where there isn't any light. Hence the lamp on in the background there.

Other things I couldn't do? Tidy up. Apparently there's a penny on the floor in front of the mirror there, and L's going on a trip tomorrow so all of his stuff is packed over by the door (Black lump'o'luggage).

The shirt is one of two I own, they're really nice and thin, the other one is blues and greens. You might see it eventually. I really like these shirts because they put a nice dark stripe right in the middle, thins me out, I think. The socks today might look familiar because I'm pretty sure I just grabbed whatever was on top of the laundry pile, and it may have been the dirty laundry pile. DON'T JUDGE ME!

Last thing. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm actually wearing my wedding band today. I usually don't because I'm a rammy klutz and I've broken the band twice, so I usually only wear it for special occasions. People keep asking me if L and I split up because I don't wear it, so I figure I had to let people know what's going on.

Okaaay, well, I've rambled long enough, time to publish and get the whole RELAXING FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT thing started.

(also, I've tried about 46 times, but this post just WON'T double space for some strange reason. WON'T!!)

also also. All credit for the Stockholming Project goes to TJ

Hermit

Tonight I'm going out with a friend that I haven't seen or talked to in more than 2 years. When her husband and I ran into each other outside of a restaurant a few weeks ago, We talked about the fact that they (W & W) never see us (Kel & L) anymore. We've recently been texting back and forth again, and are finally getting together for drinks tonight.

I wish I could have given a reason for the lack of contact I've had with them, but I'd be too afraid that I'd come off sounding rude, or jealous, or what have you. See, W & W had just gotten pregnant last time we actually hung out. This makes me really jealous because L and I have been trying to get pregnant for our entire marriage (5 years in May), and I miscarried in March...so every time I see a pregnant woman I want to burst into tears at the unfairness of the whole thing. The real difficulty for me right now? My brother and sister-in-law are pregnant with their second child. I HAVE to see them, they're family. It's really hard.

Well, that was a bit of a rambly paragraph.

Anyways, so, what I'm trying to say is I've basically avoided calling W for two years because it really wouldn't be fair to her if I burst into tears if she even so much as mentioned her son, would it?

Goodness, call me morose. I'm going out. I'm getting out of the house, I'm going to laugh, and smile, and have a good time, because, WOW. GET OVER YOURSELF KEL. For the love of pete.

You know where this whole new outlook on getting out and being with friends again comes from? The fact that I've seen what being a house-bound hermit has done to both me and my husband, and I don't want that to continue. I'm tired of being exhausted after a day at work. I'm tired of coming home and making a boxed dinner and sitting down in front of the TV for the rest of the night. I'm tired of the fact that I keep making excuses for this lifestyle to continue. It's got to change.

I recently joined a gym with a friend, and am even considering working with a personal trainer (wow, did you KNOW they were that expensive?). We're planning on going at least 2 times a week, with a promise to try to go more than that once work slows down. I've started to make boxed lunches vs. visiting the sushi place next to work (Which, NUM! BUT NOT CHEAP!). I've gotten my bike out of the garage and am going to bike to work vs. taking the bus. It may not be much of a start, but it's a start!

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to take the dog for a walk before getting ready to go out. Later!

The Stockholming Myself Project

5 days ago I started something. I started a project developed by blogger Temerity Jane which she calls (and we've all adopted calling) The Stockholming Myself Project. This is, in my opinion, a stroke of genius. Here's what she has to say:

"The theory behind Stockholming Myself, something that I made up that is composed of absolutely zero science, is that if I take the dreaded full-length body shot picture every single day, I will either notice gradual change from my diet & excercise plan or, failing that, will learn to like what I've got based on continual, unrelenting exposure."

TJ started her project a little over two weeks ago (and is doing great at being on the ball and taking a picture every. single. day) Recently though, she put out the call to join her in her project. Quite a few of us have, to date, and there are more that join pretty much every day.

I've been keeping my photos up at Daily Booth, and may continue to do so, but I will also be hosting them here, from now on.

Here are the pictures from my first 5 days:

Day 1

Day 2
Day 3


Day 4

Day 5
See you tomorrow for day 6!

New Beginnings

Thursday night my laptop got struck down by some malware from a website I visit[ed] fairly frequently. After spending the better part of yesterday evening running spyware and malware removers from all three of our home computers, I decided that I spend far too much time on the computer. What, do you suppose, is the best solution to this? To start writing a blog again, of course! I know, who'da thunk it, right?



So I guess I really don't know what the purpose of this blog is going to be, yet. I have some plans for it, and I can say that I hope I remember to update it fairly regularly. Last time I promised that however; I ended up forgetting I even had a blog. I think I updated it last in late 2008.



Anyways. Hi, I'm Kristy, most everyone calls me Kel. I live with my husband, we'll call him L. He's a nice guy, I'll probably complain about him a lot. We have a dog and a cat. We try not to let them be, but they're pretty much in charge around here.